Sometimes unhealthy coping doesn't just add problems to our lives.
Sometimes it slowly takes away the things that once made our lives worth enjoying.
I recently came across a story about a woman who struggled with difficult emotions.
She was also a painter.
Painting wasn't simply something she did. It was something she loved. It gave her an opportunity to create, express herself, and experience the satisfaction of turning an empty canvas into something meaningful.
But she didn't know how to manage some of the difficult emotions she was experiencing.
So she found another way to cope:
Alcohol.
At first, drinking provided an escape.
But slowly, something began to change.
She painted a little less.
And drank a little more.
Then she painted even less.
And drank even more.
Eventually, she stopped painting altogether.
Something that once brought meaning and joy into her life had disappeared, and drinking became one of the primary ways she dealt with how she felt.
Her life became a cycle of misery.
Feel something difficult. Drink. Feel temporary relief. Experience more problems. Feel worse. Drink again.
And somewhere along the way...
The paintbrush got left behind.
Then Something Changed
As she became sober and began learning healthier ways to deal with her emotions, she eventually returned to painting.
She picked up that paintbrush again.
She created something.
And when she looked at the finished painting...
She cried.
She was looking at something she loved that had been missing from her life.
Nobody had taken painting away from her.
Nobody told her she couldn't create anymore.
While trying to escape her pain, she had unknowingly given up something that meant the world to her.
And that brings us to a difficult question:
What Have YOU Given Up?
Not because someone took it from you.
But because somewhere along the way, dealing with difficult emotions became so overwhelming that you stopped doing something you once loved.
What happened to that hobby?
That friendship?
That dream?
That goal?
That talent?
That part of your personality?
What has avoiding difficult emotions cost you?
This question isn't meant to shame you.
It's meant to help you notice.
Because once you recognize what you've lost, you can begin asking another question:
Can I get some of it back?
Maybe It's Time to Pick Up Your Paintbrush
Your "paintbrush" might not actually be a paintbrush.
Maybe it's dancing.
Writing.
Exercise.
School.
Friendships.
Music.
Travel.
A business idea.
Playing with your children.
Taking care of yourself.
Or simply laughing more than you have lately.
Whatever it is...
Maybe it's still waiting for you.
Learning healthier ways to manage difficult emotions doesn't erase what happened. But it can stop those emotions from continuing to decide what else you have to give up.
So we'd love for you to reflect:
What have difficult emotions caused you to give up—and what would it mean to bring that part of yourself back?
If you're comfortable, share your experience with us.
Your contribution could help another mom recognize a pattern in her own life and realize that she isn't the only person trying to change it.
Having difficult conversations builds Confidence.
Choosing healthier ways forward and trying again builds Resilience.
And no matter how long that paintbrush has been sitting there...
Never forget:
You're already Beautiful.
Leave a comment