Do you support your friends when they’re going through rough times? Of course! I’m sure you’d be there for them with supportive posts, texts, and you may even hang out with that person to cheer them up. You wouldn’t cast blame all over them, spend all your free time telling them how stupid they are, and making them feel miserable. Of course not! You tell them you have their backs and if they need anything all they have to do is let you know.
Do you support your children when they’re going through rough times? Of course! I’m sure you’d make them their favorite snack, give them big hugs, and maybe buy them something to help them get over it. You wouldn’t remind them of all the times they made a similar mistake in the past, stop feeding them, or beating them up. Of course not! You tell them it’s going to be ok, to keep trying, and encourage them to stay strong.
I’m sure you’re a wonderful person and mother who spreads positivity and love everywhere in hopes of making the world a better place. Now, here’s the magic question: Are you as supportive to yourself when you’re going through rough times? Do you continue to hang out with your friends? Do you immediately start blaming yourself and reminding yourself how stupid you are? Do you make yourself your favorite snack to cheer yourself up? Do you beat yourself up and spend all your time thinking about it and how all the other times similar things have happened and then make yourself feel even worse? Do you isolate and just drown yourself in misery? Does the alcohol and possibly other things get used more? If you answered yes to any of those questions there may be a problem.
If you’ve experienced anything like that the question is when are you going to start treating yourself like you would your friends and children? When are you going to forgive yourself for not being perfect? When are you going to understand that you don’t have to be perfect? Everyone makes mistakes and you’re no different. Shift your focus to the problem, not the person. When you focus on the problem, you solve it. When you focus on the person, the problem and the feelings only get worse.
The only way to accomplish this is to practice it. Take a moment to think of the things you’ve done for loved ones in the past and find a way to incorporate those same things for yourself when you’re going through rough times. The beauty of it is that YOU get to choose what you can do to help yourself. How many times have loved ones tried to help, only to make the situation worse? Take control! Do what you know will help. Write down a plan for when you feel down and keep it with you to remind yourself because adversity doesn’t send you a warning. We don’t have control of when it happens, but we have the control to be prepared for it.
We’d love to get your feedback, so please share any questions or comments. We look forward to hearing from you and until next time remember you are confident, resilient, and beautiful!
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