In a psychiatric hospital group session, patients were asked to reflect on situations that caused them pain — not to dwell on what others did wrong, but to consider their own role in the events.
One patient shared a story: they had long been at odds with their brother due to their identity as a member of the LGBTQ community. One day, they arrived at their mother’s home with their partner, only to be violently attacked by the brother. The assault required medical care.
When asked if they pressed charges, the patient said no — they feared the brother might retaliate if he went to jail. Later, they considered suing but decided against it, as it would financially hurt their mother. They explained that their brother had been “getting away with things like this his whole life.”
The facilitator asked, “So what was your part in all this?”
The patient looked confused.
The answer: not putting a stop to it. They could have called the police. They could have pursued legal action. They could have avoided going to their mother’s house knowing the risk. By not holding their brother accountable, they unintentionally gave him permission to repeat the behavior.
Here’s the lesson: we have the power to make changes in our lives — changes that protect our peace, stop cycles of harm, and open the door to better things. Will it always be easy? No. Might it have consequences? Yes. But the cost of staying in misery is far greater.
This story isn’t about blaming the victim — it’s about recognizing that we all have choices, even in painful situations. Sometimes those choices are difficult. And sometimes they don’t work out the way we hope. But the most important step is taking action to stop cycles of misery, abuse, and pain.
When we make those tough choices, we reclaim our time, energy, and peace. We create space for our goals, dreams, and joy.
That’s Confidence.
That’s Resilience.
That’s Beautiful.
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