Before Coping Skills: Learning to Look Inward (Post #28)

Before we begin exploring coping skills, there’s an equally important step we need to talk about: looking inward for solutions.

Too often, when faced with problems, our instinct is to look outward. We blame others, buy things to feel better, or search for an escape—whether it’s a vacation, a new outfit, or even drugs and alcohol. While these may provide temporary relief, they do nothing to actually resolve the issue at hand.

The Trap of Looking Outward

• Blame shifts responsibility away from us. If it’s always someone else’s fault, we never take the time to understand what role we played in the situation—or what we can do differently next time. That cycle guarantees misery on repeat.
• Purchases give us a fleeting sense of satisfaction, but no handbag, car, or luxury item can heal wounds we’ve avoided. Instead, the void grows larger, demanding bigger and bigger purchases to mask the same pain.
• Drugs and alcohol may feel like the most dangerous escape because they “work.” They make people feel physically good. At first, it looks like fun. Then it becomes fun with problems. Eventually, it becomes nothing but problems.

Why Looking Inward Matters

When we look inward, we stop running. We start asking:

• What role did my choices play in this situation?
• What feelings have I been avoiding?
• What patterns do I keep repeating that bring me back here?

This is where real growth begins. Facing the truth may hurt, but it also begins to release the pain you’ve locked inside. More importantly, it stops you from repeating the same thoughts and behaviors that caused suffering in the first place.

The Path Forward

The journey isn’t about perfection—it’s about honesty.
It’s about recognizing your power to change cycles of misery and reclaim your peace.

When you look inward:

• You take back responsibility.
• You free yourself from repeating old pain.
• You create space for healthier habits, deeper healing, and meaningful progress.

And that’s where coping skills come in—they become tools to build the life you truly want.

Confidence comes from owning your choices.
Resilience comes from breaking old cycles.
Beauty comes from the peace you create within.

It all begins with you!